I Forgive You, Dad

I wrote this poem after a friend of mine suggested that instead of moaning about all the injustices of my father, I should write a letter to him, forgiving him, maybe not even sending it. I write poems about strong feelings so I decided to do that instead. Whilst writing it I didn't really believe my words and she wouldn't last 5 minutes in a room with him, but, years later it has made me realise that his life is completely separate from mine, that his world is his and I am not responsible for it. To those people who this poem speaks to, we know each other well and it is dedicated to you. By the way, poetry takes longer to digest, it's like Stephen Fry says, you should savour the words like you would savour the taste and texture of individual pieces of chocolate.

I forgive you, Dad

This fault finding eye I inherited,
it must be gouged.
These instructions from friends,
they must be followed.
That picture where I'm separate from you,
it must be painted,
and the illusion believed.
This clued-up comment that my task is hard,
must be defied.
That 'you' I keep referring to
must conveniently be forgotten.
My image of a Daddy,
it must be deformed.
My delicacies that you made your business
must be reclaimed;-

emasculated stamens.
These crimes of which you are culpable
must be reduced to mistakes.
These hands around my anger's neck
they must be loosened,
so it can simply fall.

Your demons and your fears,
my friends these long years,
arrive and follow you away.
I wave a hanky at their fuzzy tails.

This speech of parents and the past
it must be muted.
Those words of normalcy,
oh those words of normalcy,
they will be spoken after all -
my smile the brightening of a field.....

....... a field.........

I forgive you Dad,
I forgive you Baba,
for being unhappy.

Yasemin
http://www.brevityroux.wordpress.com

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